Quotes by Woody Allen

"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."

Wisdom       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."

Money       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."

Happiness       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."

Humor       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."

Money       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

Truth       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

Virtue       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."

Love       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"I am at two with nature."

Humor       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"

Truth       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"

Religion       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."

Virtue       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

Success       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."

Death       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments

"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead."

Death       Email to a Friend       Comments:       Add Comments