Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
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They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
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If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
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Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
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Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
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Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
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When on the ladder of success, don't let boys look up your dress!
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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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