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Quotes by Emo Philips

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself

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You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.

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My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine'.

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