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Funny Quotes - Cool funny quotes. Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
 
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
Erma Louise Bombeck       Email to a Friend
 
I am Happy Devesh
Aaron Copland       Email to a Friend
 
"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?"
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?"
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"I am at two with nature."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."
Woody Allen       Email to a Friend
 
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