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Taxes
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Virtue
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Weddings
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I come from family where gravy is considered a beverage. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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When humor goes, there goes civilization. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go into overload and blow up. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. |
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Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend |
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you |
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F Lebowitz Email to a Friend |
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Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake when you make it again. |
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F. P. Jones Email to a Friend |
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. |
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Franklin P. Jones Email to a Friend |
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Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. |
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Franklin P. Jones Email to a Friend |
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The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. |
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Franklin P. Jones Email to a Friend |
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Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger |
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Franklin P. Jones Email to a Friend |
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There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for |
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Fred Hoyle Email to a Friend |
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