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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go into overload and blow up.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
I come from family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck Email to a Friend
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Erica Jong Email to a Friend
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden
Eric Morecambe. Email to a Friend
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't
Ellen DeGeners Email to a Friend
I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
Edward Chilton Email to a Friend
A drink a day keeps the shrink away
Edward Abbey Email to a Friend
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool
Edgar Watson Howe Email to a Friend
I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
e. e. cummings Email to a Friend
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