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	I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	A wonderful Doctor gave this guy 6 months to live. When he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him another 6 months.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

	I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
	Henry Youngman Email to a Friend

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